One of the funniest things I ever saw Bill Murray do was on Letterman, at least ten years ago. The conversation between Bill and Dave lulled a bit, and Bill thought for a second and said, “You see that movie, Titanic?” Dave: “No.” Bill: “Huh.” Dave: “Did you?” Bill: “No.” Then they sat in awkward silence for a good ten seconds....
If you’d told me even a year ago that I would soon be not only listening to a band called The Pains Of Being Pure At Heart, but actually tapping my foot and singing along, I would have knocked your textbooks out of your hand and given you a swirly. I’m just going to call them The Stone Roses from now on. It’s easier on my self-respect. Good album though.
Remain Champagne: REDNECK HIPSTER →
remainchampagne: I wonder how an overly patriotic redneck hipster from Silverlake would talk? I think he’d sound…a whole lot…like this: *** “All right. I don’t know how you do it in Victorville or Redlands or Fresno or Lancaster or Palmdale or wherever, but I’ll tell ya how we do it here in Silverlake!… I feel sorry for all of you who never get to hear Matt say this stuff aloud.
I have a hangover at the airport - already a modern nightmare - and this is happening 20 feet from my gate. Congrats, Portland, you’ve persuaded me to leave you. … Oh, I can’t stay mad at you! I’ll be back, you big fat funtown.
Keep Circulating The Mpegs
I think I like watching Mystery Science Theater 3000 in badly-encoded Internet video form because it’s as close as I can get to the SLP-recorded VHS tapes that I watched it on for the first five years that I knew about it. The picture should be a little blurry, the sound should be a little muddy, and occasionally a line of static should crawl up the screen like a guilty secret that cannot be...
Low, “When I Go Deaf”. A great...
Blues-Based Comedy Tonight
This! You for this! Me on this! Me on you! TUESDAY APRIL 19! LA’s best alternative standup comedy live at the House of Blues - Foundation Room. FREE!!! GET A LOAD A… Kyle Kinane (Comedy Central Presents, John Oliver’s Standup Show) Chris Fairbanks (Tosh.0, Kimmel) Jonah Ray (SuperNews!, Human Giant) Paul Jay (The Biggest Mistake, Bridgetown Comedy Festival) Matt Knudsen (Craig...
I’ve reached the stage of writer’s block where I’m frantically scanning the items on my desk and saying things like “Mousepads! Mousepads are funny. Right? What’s the deal with mousepads? Sounds like a show where mice show off their fly cribs! I’m MC Mickey and I’m here to say, I love my pad in a major way! No, no, too racist too quickly....
Things I Had Forgotten About "Poltergeist"
The parents are stoners. And their kids know it, and rib each other about it. This is, mind you, at the height of Reagan’s America. No one, and I mean no one, has nailed middle-class suburban family life on film like Steven Spielberg. The meal scenes are chaotic, the houses are messy, the parents are hassled but human, and the kids are kids: dorky and clueless and loud, and blasé about...
One thing I have learned from my job where I watch everything on a Blu-ray multiple times: no matter how rote, clichéd, formulaic, been-done, and ripoffy a TV show or movie may be, the editors of the behind-the-scenes featurettes will have to cut down hours and hours of footage of the filmmakers explaining how they “really wanted to do something different”. And I will have to resist...
Americans like to make fun of Florida for containing such a high concentration of corrupt politicians, drug addicts, empty-headed rich people, and snake-handling hillbilly zealots. What we don’t realize is that the U.S.A. is the world’s Florida.
Movies are more expensive and technically sophisticated than they’ve ever been. So why is it that, when the script calls for an old photo of a character, the props department delivers a Photoshop job that would embarrass a junior high kid in 1993?
Houston didn’t get a Space Shuttle. Probably because the Texas Board of Education, in a unanimous vote, recently resolved that outer space is “a secular-humanist fabrication, intended to convince us that God is not in the sky”.
Five Terabytes of Legos
I recently emptied my apartment of - literally - two cubic meters of…just…stuff. Clothes, books, old letters, old screenplays, things I once intended to make into wall art, pictures that never made it into collages, several collages, and one entire PowerBook. I have a mild hoarding problem that I got under control several years ago, by which I mean I stopped obtaining new crap, but...
Hi.: theweekmagazine: Full text of Gaddafi’s... →
theweekmagazine: Full text of Gaddafi’s letter to Obama Our son, Excellency, President Obama U.S.A We have been hurt more morally that physically because of what had happened against us in both deeds and words by you. Despite all this you will always remain our son whatever… Where’s the part where he needs our help safeguarding his millions of dollars in exchange for a...
Person who hates L.A.: “I hate L.A. It’s so isolating. Everyone just stays in their cars or behind their laptops and you never strike up conversations with total strangers.” Me: “I know! Isn’t it GREAT?”