Stand up comedian. Based in Portland, Oregon. Will work for attention.
Newly-Discovered Alternate Versions of “Blade Runner”
• The Pantsless Deckard Cut
• The CGI Velociraptor Sidekick Cut
• The Urban Cut (starring Yaphet Kotto as Pris)
• The Voiceover By The Little Chinese Eyeball Dude Instead Of Harrison Ford Cut
• The Restored Andrew Lloyd Webber Musical Numbers Cut
• The Everybody Is A Replicant Including YOU Cut
• The Deckard Is NOT A Replicant But He IS Gay Cut
• The German Underground Cut Featuring Full Anal Penetration
• The Three More Hours Of Tyrell Explaining Genetic Engineering Cut
• The Eric Stoltz As Deckard Before The Role Was Recast Cut
• The Just Shot After Shot Of Daryl Hannah’s Perfect Ass Cut
• The Original Woody Allen Script Cut
• The Extra Doves Cut
• The Super-Happy Ending Where Batty And His Friends Live, Forgive Deckard, Start A Band, And Travel Across America In Their Tour Van Solving Mysteries Cut
• The Pugs Instead Of Replicants Cut
